It's not a lie if you believe it;

I hate feeling like I ruined everything and I have no way to change it.

i bury my face in my furry-cheetah pillow
& let my eyes rain all the tear-bleeding memories of hurt they need to.
i just wish this was real...
wish i could blink my eyes & taste 'real'.
But one day ill figure it out...when i dont have to beg anymore,
when all my scar-badges miraculously disappear...
thats when ill know...thats when ill know...
if i did it all for love.

i dig at my mind for more,
what else is there to know?
i hate myself 'cause i can only give as much as i have
but i plead for mercy
& spit my hope at flowers and love
whenever the chance arises.
But all i really want is to trace around my thoughts,
with the perfect cut-out plastic stencil
& throw them in a manilla envelope
so you can know how i feel.
ill make that 37 cents count.

"Overdrive" by katy rose
every time i hear this song i think of u kelli, cause its fun && u -- definatly, definatly are cherry cola =))*

Outta bed at the crack of noon
Blare the music and have a swoon
I can't stop thinkin of your face
La la lee la lee loo lace

I'm six feet under the Bhodi Tree
With my crap new-age philosophy
Diamonds where there once were stars
I'm sittin in Jayne Mansfeild's car

Yea yea-a I'm independence
Yea yea-a I'm borderline
Yea yea-a I'm California
My minds all screwed and upside down
But my hearts on overdrive (yea my hearts on overdrive)

I need to take a shower when I look at you
Ya sting and hurt like a bad tattoo
I wish you'd change my point of view

I cruise the canyon to get a breeze
With Hidden Treasures up my sleeve
I like the light and hate the heat
But I'll lick the blood right off your street

Yea yea-a I'm cherry cola
Yea yea-a I'm candy-eyed
Yea yea-a I'm California
My mind's all screwed and upside down
But my heart's on over drive

They all come here to find a scene
But end up girls on methadrine
Naked on a TV screen
The dreams that fall beneath my feet
Make my footsteps feel so sweet
But your kisses are my fait acconpli

YEA YEA- A
I'm independence
Yea-a I'm borderline
Yea-a I'm California
My mind's all screwed and upsidedown
But my heart's on overdrive
Yea my heart's on overdrive